Shame-Based Family Roles

Within “dysfunctional” families, there are several roles that typically emerge.   No one signs up for these. Individuals just move into them during the course of life in this family. And usually in an attempt to emotionally survive the toxic environment. These roles are generally not healthy, but are, in a sense, necessary for survival.  Bradshaw […]

Read More

Dysfunctional Family Roles

Introduction We all grew up with families, relationships, and experiences that played a part in our sense of identity and set rules for life that have remained with us throughout adulthood. While growing up with these unique windows of perspective, we knew only what we were taught, and automatically assumed it was right and true. […]

Read More

Surrender – Part 3

Dependence in Relationships Some forms of dependence are appropriate.  For example, children are to be dependent on parents until adulthood.   In a similar way, husbands are to shepherd the needs of his wife and children.  So where do we draw the line?  How can we establish when healthy and authoritative dependence is in place, or […]

Read More

Surrender – Part 2

Trusting in a God we cannot see requires faith (see Hebrews 11:1).  For most of us, people have let us down or hurt us.  Our ability to trust people in our earthly experience has been shattered.  How could we possibly trust in a God we can’t even see?  Yet, we can trust in God because […]

Read More

Surrender – Part 1

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV Introduction No concept is harder for people to grasp than what it means to surrender. As sad as it sounds, many (if not […]

Read More

Giving And Receiving Love

How many times have we tried to make an imbalanced relationship work?  How many efforts to change other people have failed?  In doing this, many of us bypassed the first two ingredients of God’s system of love: Putting God’s love first and loving ourselves.  Since that left us empty and with so many needs, when […]

Read More

Self-Love versus Selfishness

Most of us who are reading this book struggle with seeing ourselves negatively at a core level, whether or not we are even aware of it.  While we may have trouble loving ourselves, we become exceedingly self-reliant.  This is called “pride.”  It is always self-centered, never God-centered. If we can be totally honest with ourselves, […]

Read More

Faulty Love Systems

As we look at the heart of God and discover He is filled with grace, love, and kindness toward us, it should move us to desire to love and serve Him more.  Often this doesn’t happen because deep down, we are still blocked by faulty belief systems regarding our love.  When our earthly experience has […]

Read More

Agape Love

Agape Love Is Jesus’ Love God intended for our lives to be immersed in agape love. The moment we were saved, or born again, the Holy Spirit indwelled us and we were connected with agape.  But for many of us, an experience of this type of love has never occurred.  Shame and past beliefs regarding […]

Read More