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Understanding Our Inborn Nature

Can Freud’s Theories Be Trusted? Although Freud and his teachings were highly circulated, what he claimed completely flies in the face of what the Bible teaches about human identity. The natural extension of Freud’s “blank slate” theory would be that our identity is merely the sum total of our past experiences, both good and not […]

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Apples same but different colors

Same Experiences, Yet Different Effects

“The unique nature of who we are is reflected most accurately through the characteristics of our inborn temperament.”  Dr. Dave Ralston Am I Enough? At this point in our journey, you’re most likely beginning to make significant connections between the experiences of your childhood and the intra- or inter-personal plaguing your adult life.  To clearly […]

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Ripples from drop of water

We Duplicate Who We Are

Shame Through The Generations Walk with me as I explore the nature of each of the seven generations that co-exist in America today, and how each may have uniquely contributed to the dysfunctional aspects of our today’s culture:  The Greatest Generation > The Silent Generation > Baby Boomers (Early and Late) > Generation X > […]

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1950s family in church

From Prominent To Superficial

Erosion of Godly Foundations In light of the foreboding cultural climate of the early twentieth century that we’ve explored, we can’t help but consider factors that may have contributed to the nature of the world we live in today.  Natural characteristics such as creativity and vision were subdued by forced compliance.  Respect turned into fear.  […]

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Post WWII America

The Traumatized Family

A landmark article by the US Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD explains how the emotional trauma World War II imposed on American men profoundly changed how they functioned as men, husbands, fathers, and citizens. PTSD can make somebody hard to be with.  Living with someone who is easily startled, has nightmares, and […]

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It is well not with my soul

It Cost Our Society It’s Collective Soul

Prior to the twentieth century, adults demanded strict adherence to a very stringent code of behavior and conduct – privately and publicly – for both themselves and their children.  Despite many of their techniques appearing harsh and primitive by today’s standards, history appears to show that the effects of these methods were not as emotionally […]

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Correct lens changes perspective

Jesus Is The Only Accurate Lens

“Without complete honesty and vulnerability, unresolved shame can become a barrier to God turning our broken pieces into masterpieces.”  Dr. Dave Ralston  Toxic Shaming:  An American Icon I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to meet numerous high-profile people throughout my life – professional athletes, celebrities, dignitaries, and government leaders – Ronald Reagan, Jalen Rose, Michael W. […]

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Man walking on water

Too Good To Be True

Overcompensating is the only way we know how to effectively re-enter life – by creating a façade of what we believe to be acceptable, in hopes of safeguarding our inner brokenness.  In constructing the façade, however, the shame messages within us cause us to go overboard, thinking we can will ourselves to be whole – […]

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Woman hiding face with arm

Hiding In Plain Sight

Concealment I’m guessing that the words “concealment” and “secrecy” might be listed as synonyms if you were to search them online.  For the purpose of describing the shame cycle though, I see them as not quite the same.  Secrecy, which we discussed in great detail a few pages back, has to do with hiding ourselves: […]

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Man at top of stairs looking out

I Am What I Am. I Cannot Change.

Shame that is a product of our acting out (I’ll refer to this as “post-shame”) is somewhat different than shame that was the precursor to our acting out (I’ll refer to this as “pre-shame”), although both weeds share the same roots. As we looked at in detail already, pre-shame leads to discomfort that we feel […]

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