God’s Intention For Family

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the work of the builders is wasted” (Psalm 127:1 NLT). If we visualize God’s perfect home, we will see a delightful place of rest, solace, love, peace and fulfillment.  It will be comprised of individual family members working in their God-ordained positions to fulfill the purpose and plan for […]

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Our Family Of Origin – Part 2

“The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you:  Do what is right, love mercy, and walk humbly with God” (Micah 6:8 NLT). The Consequences of Sin We examined this very topic in great detail earlier in this book.  But now, at this point — where our journey is moving […]

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Our Family Of Origin – Part 1

“I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sins of their parents to the third and fourth generation of those who are disobedient to me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Deuteronomy 5:9-10 NIV Introduction Every one of us […]

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Shame-Based Family Roles

Within “dysfunctional” families, there are several roles that typically emerge.   No one signs up for these. Individuals just move into them during the course of life in this family. And usually in an attempt to emotionally survive the toxic environment. These roles are generally not healthy, but are, in a sense, necessary for survival.  Bradshaw […]

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Dysfunctional Family Roles

Introduction We all grew up with families, relationships, and experiences that played a part in our sense of identity and set rules for life that have remained with us throughout adulthood. While growing up with these unique windows of perspective, we knew only what we were taught, and automatically assumed it was right and true. […]

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Surrender – Part 3

Dependence in Relationships Some forms of dependence are appropriate.  For example, children are to be dependent on parents until adulthood.   In a similar way, husbands are to shepherd the needs of his wife and children.  So where do we draw the line?  How can we establish when healthy and authoritative dependence is in place, or […]

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Surrender – Part 2

Trusting in a God we cannot see requires faith (see Hebrews 11:1).  For most of us, people have let us down or hurt us.  Our ability to trust people in our earthly experience has been shattered.  How could we possibly trust in a God we can’t even see?  Yet, we can trust in God because […]

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Surrender – Part 1

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV Introduction No concept is harder for people to grasp than what it means to surrender. As sad as it sounds, many (if not […]

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Giving And Receiving Love

How many times have we tried to make an imbalanced relationship work?  How many efforts to change other people have failed?  In doing this, many of us bypassed the first two ingredients of God’s system of love: Putting God’s love first and loving ourselves.  Since that left us empty and with so many needs, when […]

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Self-Love versus Selfishness

Most of us who are reading this book struggle with seeing ourselves negatively at a core level, whether or not we are even aware of it.  While we may have trouble loving ourselves, we become exceedingly self-reliant.  This is called “pride.”  It is always self-centered, never God-centered. If we can be totally honest with ourselves, […]

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