How Fathers Often Miss It

Re-Abandonment by Our Father The repeated experience of abandonment by our father who is still in our lives leads to greater and greater compulsiveness.  We are determined to do whatever it takes to one day gain his approval and acceptance.  I call this phenomenon “re-abandonment,” when the father moves in and out of the child’s […]

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Father Wounds

Equal and Opposite:  Abandonment | Enmeshment In Greek mythology there is a centuries-old story of a young man named Oedipus.  In the early 1900s, Sigmond Freud grabbed hold of this metaphorical example of an adolescent child’s relationship with his parents and referred to it as the “Oedipus Complex.” Not one for secular psychology, or Greek […]

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Our Biological Father

Every human being is born with an inner longing to be united with our heavenly Father.  This is called a “father hunger,” which exists at the deepest part of our human soul – the heart.  To a child’s heart, their earthly, biological father is the most real and accurate representation of the only one who […]

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Our Family Of Origin – Part 2

“The Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you:  Do what is right, love mercy, and walk humbly with God” (Micah 6:8 NLT). The Consequences of Sin We examined this very topic in great detail earlier in this book.  But now, at this point — where our journey is moving […]

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Shame-Based Family Roles

Within “dysfunctional” families, there are several roles that typically emerge.   No one signs up for these. Individuals just move into them during the course of life in this family. And usually in an attempt to emotionally survive the toxic environment. These roles are generally not healthy, but are, in a sense, necessary for survival.  Bradshaw […]

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Dysfunctional Family Roles

Introduction We all grew up with families, relationships, and experiences that played a part in our sense of identity and set rules for life that have remained with us throughout adulthood. While growing up with these unique windows of perspective, we knew only what we were taught, and automatically assumed it was right and true. […]

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Surrender – Part 3

Dependence in Relationships Some forms of dependence are appropriate.  For example, children are to be dependent on parents until adulthood.   In a similar way, husbands are to shepherd the needs of his wife and children.  So where do we draw the line?  How can we establish when healthy and authoritative dependence is in place, or […]

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Surrender – Part 2

Trusting in a God we cannot see requires faith (see Hebrews 11:1).  For most of us, people have let us down or hurt us.  Our ability to trust people in our earthly experience has been shattered.  How could we possibly trust in a God we can’t even see?  Yet, we can trust in God because […]

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