It’s Time to Get Your Marriage Back on Track

Christian Marriage Counseling in Louisville and Online to Improve Your Relationship and Change Your Life

Christian marriage counseling CAN help

How many times have you laid in bed at night wondering how life ended up like this? How many times have you stared angrily at the ceiling or out the window after yet another fight with your spouse? When did loving someone else get so hard?

Resentment has replaced happiness. Fights are in place of fun. Silence and hurt feelings are all that’s left where intimacy used to be. Every talk turns into an argument and every day turns into another lonely night wondering how it got this way. At this point, counseling may feel like a last resort. Maybe it is. And that’s okay. You’ve come to the right place.

If you look back over the course of your marriage, you may remember the exact moment when things started going downhill. Or maybe, it happened so slowly over time that you never even realized what was going on around you. When did the two of you become nothing more than angry roommates? When did you wake up and realize you don’t even know the person laying beside you.

Maybe you know that it’s something you’ve done. Or maybe it’s not your fault at all. All you know is that it’s killing you inside, and the thought of spending one more minute feeling like it’s all going to fall apart has to stop. The beauty of working with Life Training Christian Counseling is that you can get it back. We can help.

Let’s make things work again

We get it. You want to actually talk without having a fight. You’re dying to feel loved, valued and important in your relationship. You want to feel the same way you did on your wedding night. You just wish you could feel loved, cherished, and appreciated again. You want something more than just one-half of this so-called partnership trying to keep a household running.

Your marriage doesn’t have to be over. Despite what you and your spouse have been through, if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, do some hard work and have some tough conversations, you can get your marriage on the right track, and perhaps better than it’s ever been.

Can marriage counseling really help?

Imagine what life would be like if you could wake up each morning looking forward to the day you could spend with your spouse. Remember those butterflies you used to get when they came home from work, or after you haven’t seen them for a while? What if you could get those feelings back too? What about that yearning and longing that you used to feel when they were away from you? Maybe for you, you’re just looking to get that spark back in your relationship. All of these things are possible, and we’ve worked with countless couples who have found success in their marriage and relationship, and who have found all of these things again!

We’re here to help

At Life Training Christian Counseling, we work with couples who are tired of feeling stuck, just wishing they could experiencing peace and joy. We help you to integrate your faith with what’s happening in your life, but without putting you down or making you feel like you’re failing as a Christian. Here’s the deal: we all fall short. We all miss the mark. And we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. We’re not here to make you feel bad for the mistakes you’ve made. We’re here to help you find resolution from the past, peace for the present, and hope for the future.

You’re not too messed up

Usually, when people come to see us, this is their last-ditch effort before finally throwing in the towel and starting to look at options for filing for divorce. The more messed up you feel, the more we want to get the chance to hear what’s going on with you and how we can help. You see, the beauty of your situation is that you can find hope and freedom. Not only can you get the skills to really, finally make long lasting changes to your marriage, but we’ll look at the way Jesus can heal your relationship and move forward.

Without healing from the past, it’ll keep dragging you down. If you’re trying to sweep those feelings under the rug or just avoid them altogether, they’ll always crop back up. Until those feelings, emotions and situations are dealt with, you’ll never find the hope and peace you’re looking for.

The good news is that we’ve never seen a couple who were too far gone to change, as long as you’re willing to make these changes. And the beauty of this process is, even if one of you are willing to begin the counseling journey, if you put the work in, you’ll find great results.

There’s hope for your relationship

The beauty of marriage is that you can reconnect, no matter how long it’s been or how bad the the situation has become. We believe love deserves a chance, and if you’re reading this, chances are you do too.

The success of a marriage depends on how connected you are to your spouse. In fact, most Christian marriages fail because the partners aren’t connected anymore.

What’s the number one goal of your marriage? If it’s taking care of the kids, or making sure you work hard enough to get the house, car or life you want, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for. If your number one goal is anything except connecting with your spouse, you may find your marriage full of heartache, anger and bitterness.

That doesn’t mean you and your partner have to have the exact same interests, hobbies, hopes and dreams. It’s more about connecting with their heart, and learning and growing in love together.

What to expect in marriage counseling

Look, if you’re feeling pretty nervous about sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with a stranger, you’re not alone. And if the thought of talking to somebody about all the things you and your “better half” are going through makes you anxious, you’re in good company.

First and foremost, our office is a safe space where you’re welcome to share anything that’s on your heart. It’s a place where people have talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly. When you come here, no matter what you’ve done or said, you’re not judged. You’re not condemned.

We all make mistakes. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. And there are things we all wish we could take back. While you can’t change the past, you can arrive at the office confident that whatever you share and whatever you say stays between you, your spouse, and your counselor.

In Christian marriage counseling, we’ll walk through the struggles you’re facing and look to see what brought you there. We’re not so much interested in beating you over the head for the mistakes you or your partner have made, but rather, where you can go from here. We’ll look at what God says about relationships and how He calls us to live in our marriages. You’ll have the opportunity to learn about your needs – how to put them into words – and your strengths and weaknesses. We’ll focus on learning what each of you bring to the relationship, and the chances that both of you can make to bring the changes you’re looking for.

This approach toward marriage counseling has been incredibly successful, and allows you and your spouse to love and accept each other – giving you the ability to truly connect with each other’s heart.

What you’ll learn

Throughout this process, you’ll learn to trust again. You won’t just learn to trust physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You’ll have the opportunity to figure out what the goals of your relationship really are. You’ll have the chance to learn how to have real conversations, set boundaries, and pick up the pieces. You’ll get to use your new communication tools when hard times come. And you’ll find out how to have forward thinking, so you can work together to turn disagreements into agreements.

Coming together

It’s always really beneficial when both spouses can commit to the counseling process, but that isn’t always possible. Sometimes it’s a scheduling issue, an issue of work, or because the other person believes he or she doesn’t “need” to come to counseling. But a lot of people can benefit from marriage counseling, even if their spouse doesn’t join them. Don’t let the other person’s inability or refusal to come hold you back.

What if marriage counseling doesn’t work?

Okay, we’re going to get real with you here. Christian marriage counseling (or any other kind, for that matter) doesn’t work 100% of the time. We’ve worked with people who have still ended up divorced, and there are a lot of things that cause that.

Marriage counseling gets a bad name for being ineffective, and there are a few reasons why. We’ll be honest with you – this process is not easy. There are times throughout the counseling process that you may feel like throwing in the towel. We’ll talk about things that maybe you haven’t talked about in years, or things that you’ve never been able to discuss before because it always turns into an argument. We’ll talk about the ways each of you have been hurt, and we’ll look at the good and bad that each of you contribute to the relationship.

Many times, marriage counseling feels like a failure because of the following reasons:

  • Couples will often use counseling as a place to make a decision about whether or not to stay together. That’s totally fine, but don’t expect us to tell you whether or not you should stay together. We’re not in your marriage, and we can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t do. Our job is to give you the tools to make this work.
  • One or both of you don’t complete “homework assignments” or work on your relationship outside the session. Here’s the deal: we’ll spend about 45 minutes a week together. No counselor – no matter how great – can fix your relationship for you. And there’s no way that 45 minutes alone can change everything for you. You’ll be expected to make changes and recognize things about yourself and your relationship each week, and bring those observations and assignments back with you.
  • You’re not willing to accept each other’s differences, or you just really, really, really want us to convince your partner they’re the one who messed up and they need to change. Here’s the deal: both of you need to change. And there’s no way you’re ever going to change your partner’s mind. The beauty is, that’s totally okay. You don’t have to change their mind – it’s about both of you changing your perception.
  • There are mixed agendas. When there are two people in a relationship, there may be more than one agenda. Some people come because they want to really make things work. Others may come so they can say “they tried everything the could” before throwing in the towel. In reality, the person has probably already decided to leave, and this was just the excuse they could hold on to.
  • You’re hoping for a “quick-fix” solution. Research shows that couples expect, on average, four sessions to repair their relationship. There’s probably not a therapist on the face of the planet who can help you solve all the problems in your relationship in just four sessions. Look, we’re not trying to hang out with you every week for the next five years or anything, but this process is going to take longer than a few sessions. Expect something more like a few months. We won’t meet weekly forever, but we will in the beginning to get things on track.

How can we make this process successful?

That list of things that cause marriage counseling to fail is kind of daunting, right? Here’s the hopeful list. In order to get the most out of counseling – and get your money’s worth – keep these guidelines in mind.

  • Make sure the counselor is aware of your agenda. We work with couples who are committed to the process of putting the relationship back together. If that’s not where you are – or you realize that’s where you’re headed – that’s totally fine. Just let us know, so we can get you to someone who will be better suited for what you need.
  • Make this process a priority. Until your relationship is where you want it to be, marriage counseling should be one of the most important items on your calendar. Make time for it. Be consistent. Attend weekly sessions. Each week builds upon the other, and momentum should be maintained. Randomly attending sessions is not very effective, and we don’t want to waste your time or money.
  • Be willing to accept your partner’s faults and appreciate their differences. Nobody wants a good relationship to come at the cost of losing who they are in the process. Of course a good relationship is our goal, but we also want you to be comfortable being who you are in your relationship.
  • Do your “homework”. Work on your relationship outside the session. Integrate the things you’ve learned in session into your everyday life. We can provide guidance, support, and tools, but it’s up to you to use them. The relationship will only work if you do.
    Give marriage counseling a chance. Allow it the time to work, and have realistic expectations. Your problems didn’t happen over a four-hour period, and you can’t devote yourselves to only four or five sessions before giving up.
  • Be open to admitting your own faults and sharing your responsibility with your partner. Take an honest look at yourself and your relationships. Be vulnerable and open to sharing your thoughts and feelings. Be willing to explore your problems and look at your relationship from a different perspective.

Is it time to try counseling?

One of the things we’re asked most often is, “How do I know when it’s time to go to counseling?” Ask yourself if any of these situations relate to you:

  • “I don’t feel heard.”
  • “I can’t find a compromise.”
  • “I can’t imagine a future together.”
  • “I feel stuck.”
  • “We have the same fights over and over.”
  • “I don’t feel supported.”
  • “I don’t trust my spouse.”
  • “We can’t make decisions together.”

If you’re starting to think, “Yep, that’s me,” it’s probably time to schedule an appointment. Remember, it’s not a bad thing to ask for help. It shows you’re willing to take a step to make things better. It’s an investment in your future.

The cost

Obviously, the investment in your future takes investment of time and money as well. Our standard rate for a marriage counseling session is $100. Special financial arrangements can be made for those with lower incomes.

If you’ve made the decision to work with us, then you’re ready to get down to business. And we are too. We work with couples to laser-focus on the issues they’re struggling with and what they need to make things better. That means we aren’t going to spend years together tip-toeing around looking for solutions. Most of our couples benefit from a short-term treatment approach (typically around 18-20 sessions, spread between weekly, bi-weekly and eventually monthly appointments).

We maximize our short time together by:

  • Coming up with objective and measurable goals at your first appointment.
  • Using questionnaires, assessments, and sometimes “homework” assignments between appointments to keep you on track.
  • Learning from those assignments outside of the session to look at real results.

We don’t bill insurance for services, and are considered Out of Network providers with all insurance plans, but we can provide you with a receipt that you can submit to your insurance company to see if they’ll reimburse you for part of the cost of counseling services.

Get real help from real people.

We aren’t just “bobble-head” counselors who stare at you over a clipboard and make a bunch of notes. We also don’t make you chase your tail with a bunch of rhetorical questions and then follow up with “How do you feel about that?” That approach isn’t effective. We’re here to help you find real answers to real problems and help you get to a place where you can find peace, joy and contentment in your relationship again.

Let’s get started.

We’re ready to get started. To schedule an appointment, give us a call at (502) 717-5433, or click here to contact us by email.