Man shrunk sweater in laundry

Dude Skill #7: SERVE – Part 3


Continued from my blog posting on this same topic, August 15, 2023.

Why Husbands Don’t Serve Their Wives

Maybe your dad wasn’t Archie Bunker, but he probably didn’t provide a good example of how to serve one’s wife. Serving our wives even if we did have a good model is tough. Why is this?

Not Switching Hats

As I’ve served as the chaplain to the St. Louis Cardinals over the past few years, I have discovered many unknown servants working behind the scenes of the stadium. People tirelessly take care of the operations and details so the players can focus on playing the game they love. At the front of the line of these unsung heroes are the clubbies. Clubbie, in short, serve the players. They do their laundry, set reservations, manage ticket requests, and clean up after them.

You may have a clubbie, but maybe you have an assistant and perhaps a few direct reports. You may be the boss and spend the day giving directives that must be followed. Or you may not manage anyone and spend the day being managed. Whether you spend you day being a boss or being bossed, you have to switch hats when you come through the door to greet your bride.

What Are Some Ways For Husbands To Serve?

Do Things She Doesn’t Like To Do

It’s easy to serve in areas that you like or are easy for you. When Amie and I were first married, we lived in a series of small apartments. The first few didn’t have a full-sized refrigerator, much less a dishwasher. I appointed myself the dishwasher partly out of necessity (we had a small sink and no counter space to hold dirty dishes) and partly from genetics (my mom was a dishwashing machine). I took great pride in washing dishes. I was dong more than washing dishes; I was being a good husband. On the other hand, I hated doing laundry, and we had to to to the laundromat to take care of that task. Amie abhorred doing it. The one time I went to do the laundry, I shrank a bunch of her sweaters. I was immediately demoted and quite relieved. I kept washing dishes and feeling justified in my service. I thought I was serving my wife, but I should have improved my laundry skills. Then I really would have been serving my wife. What your wife doesn’t enjoy should be the focus of your service to her.


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