God’s Intention For Family

“Unless the Lord builds the house, the work of the builders is wasted” (Psalm 127:1 NLT).

If we visualize God’s perfect home, we will see a delightful place of rest, solace, love, peace and fulfillment.  It will be comprised of individual family members working in their God-ordained positions to fulfill the purpose and plan for the family.  If a home is operating in God’s order, some distinct characteristics are bound to appear:

• Jesus Christ will be placed at the foundation as a real person who is given the ability to be sovereign and in control. Therefore, His love and power will affect all aspects of life.
• Grace will permeate the family’s environment. Family members will be allowed to safely expose their faults and weaknesses without risk of rejection.  Value, acceptance, and core worth will be instilled into all members as a result.
• Unconditional love will be present based on God’s love working its way through each family member. This means there are no strings attached and no necessary tasks to perform to earn love.
• The heart will be emphasized more than behaviors. Children will be understood to be precious, valuable, and loved, no matter what they do, and despite any discipline that may be necessary.  The governing values of the home will be grace and forgiveness, as opposed to performance and approval.
• Roles and responsibilities will be clearly defined and understood, allowing each family member to take responsibility for his or her own actions, and allowing others to take responsibility for theirs.
• Boundaries will be clearly stated, defining what is and what is not acceptable. When boundaries are broken, consequences will be enforced to make it clear that the breach of that boundary was unacceptable.
• Communication is real, open, and honest. All family members are allowed to express real feelings and share the challenges of life.
• Consistency will exist day to day, promoting a safe and secure environment for everyone.

Indicators of a Family Built God’s Way

When these characteristics are in place in a family system, several positive benefits will result, including:

• Peace.  Security, peace, and joy are at the foundation.
• Serving.  Family members genuinely desire to submit to and serve one another.
• Freedom. The home has a spirit of freedom that allows everyone the opportunity to succeed and fail.
• Boundaries. The development of healthy boundaries offers the opportunity to learn values of self-discipline and submission to authority.
• Self-esteem. Healthy self-esteem is formed where children are able to find their unique personalities, gifts, and identities in Christ.
• The maturity process is nurtured, and healthy growth takes place spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

The purpose of understanding God’s blueprint for the family isn’t to evaluate how we may have failed, or how our parents may have failed us.  It is actually to understand His design and purpose for the family – which are expressions of His heart.  This means that above anything else, we can peer into our Heavenly Father’s desire to relate to us.

Men’s and Women’s God-given Responsibilities to Their Family

We all come into the world helpless, dependent and needing love, worth, and belonging.

Since a family system is composed of individual members, we can trace a family’s dysfunction back to the individual members of the family and the roles they perform within that system.  Most important are the roles of the adults – the husband and the wife – and how they fulfill their roles in relation to their children as father and mother.

Men and women need to have an understanding of our God-given relational roles, regardless of our marital status.  We are all married to God and are members of His family, so being healthy and whole within a love relationship and family system is an important element of soul health for every one of us.

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