Lead From The Front
As human beings, we have no way to think and process life other than through a human lens. two plus two always equals four. Black and white exist in everything. You get what you deserve. The list could go on and on.
Conversely, God’s ways might seem counter to our logical, black and white way of seeing life. For example: Justice? or Mercy? His answer is yes — both. Or maybe this one: Strong? or Weak? You guessed it. Both.
This non-intuitive way of thinking flies in the face of all we know. Yet, if we’re going to follow Jesus and align our ways to His ways, we must intentionally crucify our human ways of thinking and doing in favor or taking on His ways of thinking and doing. And when we do, what once seemed so black and white suddenly becomes much more enigmatic and outside our human comprehension. That’s precisely how He wants it. We can’t ever figure it out, therefore we must simply trust and follow.
Misused for centuries
No scripture better illustrates this than does Paul’s teachings in Ephesians 5:
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV
Anyone who’s lived any length of time understands the meaning of terms such as “lead” & “follow” and “head” & “submit.” But to further my statements above, we only have understanding through a human, fallen-world point of view, not God’s point of view.
Head of the wife
The sinful nature within each of us intrinsically desires to be the center of our story. First. Best. Authority, In-charge. Head.
So, naturally when a husband reads the above passage, it’s obvious he’s the center of the family. First. Best. Authority. In-charge.. Head. Much like I’ve illustrated in this illustration. With this model, the man is the boss, CEO, president. And all others must submit under him.
God did not intend for marriage and family to be a top-down form or structure, built on the premise of the man’s AUTHORITY to be “over” his wife and kids. No, God intended for marriage and family to have a front forward structure, built on the premise of the man’s RESPONSIBILITY to serve, protect, and guide them as he is guided by God and His word.
As the head of an animal – possibly a sheep – moves forward on its journey, it’s head (intellect, wisdom, experience) provide moment-by-moment direction for every other part of the body. Not from a place of authority, but from a place of responsibility. The head does not exist for itself, but for the remaining parts of the body “behind” it.
Paradigm shift
Be challenged to redefine your concept of the God-give role of the man – husband – father. Allow yourself to see it in a non-intuitive way. Possibly different than any leadership you’ve ever seen in your life. Shift your paradigm. Contact a trained Christian counselor to walk with you, whether you’re a man or woman, in doing the necessary work of learning how to live this most-critical scripture as God intended it. Life Training Christian Counseling has caring, patient counselors available to meet with you as soon as today. Consider making the call.