Wounds Become Scars

Soul Wounds Will Become Scars

Parenting is hard work.  If you’re a parent, you already know that.  And sometimes parents get things wrong.  Even very wrong.  If we can recognize our father and mother for who they are, and not dwell on who we’d like them to be (past or present), we can move toward understanding and accepting them and all of their human weaknesses.

Wounds become scarsIn some of our situations it could be possible to rebuild a damaged, broken, or absent relationship with our wounding parent.  We must set firm, healthy boundaries before entering into to that.  If God is showing us that He wants us to build (or rebuild) some sort of relationship with our parent, He will open the doors, give us the words to say, and protect us on that journey.

In some of our situations, though, we may have had a neglectful or abusive parent that we may be attempting to forgive but cannot even consider actual reconciliation with them.  God sometimes shows us that any form of reconnection with that individual would be unsafe or unhealthy to our soul and spirit.  In such cases, it may be best for us to work through those hard feelings of shame and abandonment in our private, quiet times with Jesus.  The rest is not our responsibility.  Let go and let God be God!

Regardless which direction God leads each of us, the objective remains the same:  Allow God to turn our wounds into scars, our brokenness into wholeness.

Identifying Possible Father Wounds and Mother Wounds

Identifying your emotional injuries and deficits is an important step to healing.  Once the nature of our father and mother wounds is acknowledged, our healing journey can become much more focused as we move forward.

Below are two lists, each containing emotional wounds we may have experienced in our relationships with either our biological father or our biological mother.  I encourage you to “score” each entry on a scale of 1-5, with 5 indicating the statement is “very true,” and 1 indicating the statement is “not true.”

This is not intended to serve as any form of diagnostic tool, but merely a guide for each of us to evaluate the impact of our childhood relationships with our parents.  We can use this information to clarify the areas of our lives that may need the greatest attention on our journey from brokenness to wholeness in Christ.

Prayer for Freedom from Our Family’s Dysfunction

Father God, my family life has been far from perfect.  I don’t want to dwell on or blame the dynamics of my past or current family, but I do want to understand Your will and purpose in my life.  Give me the ability to see what I need to see in order to be set free from any damaging belief systems or toxic shame I may have acquired. Be my perfect Father right now and lead and guide me into all truth according to Your will at work in my life.

I am so grateful to know that You are the source of truth.  As painful as it can be to see how my own family life has fallen short of this plan You provide, I have so much hope that You are already in the process of restoring that which has been broken.  Teach me, Father, how to end generational patterns of sin and cycles of behavior that are harmful.  Help me to fulfill the role You uniquely designed for me.

I am grateful that You already see me as Your perfect child.  Change my heart, not merely my outward actions.  Lead me into the life You intend and show me anything and everything that is not of You so it can be made whole.

I also pray for my family members, both in my current family, as well as my family-of-origin.  Lord, I lift them up to You.  You alone have the ability to restore my family and each individual member.  Thank you, God.  You are in control.  You are a good, good father.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

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Soul health and spiritual maturity cannot be separated.  Our counselors are ordained Christian ministers as well as certified and licensed Christian counselors.  We are able to help you experience freedom from shame, anxiety, depression, or relationship conflict with methods that are purely Christ-centered.   Life Training offers convenient sessions at our office in Louisville, Kentucky, as well as online counseling via Zoom or FaceTime.  Our non-profit counseling practice has an outstanding track record for over a decade helping men and women who are ready to move beyond anxiety, depression, and conflicts in marriage or other relationships find hope and healing in their lives.  Contact us today at 502-717-5433, or by email at drdave@lifetrainingcounseling.org