You’re Understood

The statement “You are appreciated” communicates to some individuals others understand them.

Even If Assured They’re Appreciated, They Still Have Difficulty Believing They Are Understood

if you have difficulty comprehending how this statement could be so important to someone, then it’s apparent that you don’t have this particular temperament type.  Often when we don’t share a similar type with someone, it’s very difficult for us to understand how or why they could act or react so adversely to something that we might have acted or reacted to much less negatively.

In essence, the essential need of their temperament was not satisfied because they did not feel or believe that they were appreciated and understood  Follow along with me as I unpack this:

Those parts of this individual’s nature that are exposed when their essential need to be loved and approved of is not satisfied might include:

• Observer of life rather than a participant
• Will identify injustices, yet not initiate action against them in inspiring others to action; they are seldom willing to get involved themselves
• Allow their lives to become stagnant because it takes too much effort to use their talentss
• Go through life quietly doing as little as possible
• Often has little energy left for family at the end of the day; observes the actions of other temperaments and identifies all the things being done wrong or that need to be changed; uses their dry sense of humor to protect themselves from over-obligation.

Essential Need:  They Can’t Not Be Appreciated

To condense all of that into a simpler understanding of an individual with this temperament, they have four primary inner battles related to their one essential need:

1. They need to conserve energy
2. They need to be in environments that requires a minimal amount of interaction with people
3. They need a minimal number of commitments in their day
4. They need to be free from excessive social demands

When interacting with an individual with this temperament type, it is important to be intentional in considering, understanding, and appreciating what they have to say or do.

Here are some examples of ways others might communicate with this individual that will probably result in them responding in an adverse way:

• “You’re so stubborn.”
• “You’re lazy.”
• “You move so slow.”
• “You don’t get involved.”

This is the fifth and final temperament type.  For additional insight into the APS temperament model, I recommend you purchase the book, The Missing Link: Understanding Spiritual Genetics, by Drs. Richard and Phyllis Arno.

——-

Soul health and spiritual maturity cannot be separated.  Our counselors are ordained Christian ministers as well as certified and licensed Christian counselors.  We are able to help you experience freedom from shame, anxiety, depression, or marriage / relationship conflict with methods that are purely Christ-centered.  Please click on this link to learn much more about how our MARRIAGE COUNSELING can help you become a more authentic follower of Christ, and help you find freedom from identity dependence.

Life Training offers convenient sessions at our office in Louisville, Kentucky, as well as online counseling via Zoom or FaceTime.  Our non-profit counseling practice has had an outstanding track record from over a decade helping men and women, individuals and couples who are ready to move beyond anxiety, depression, and conflicts in marriage or other relationships find hope and healing in their lives.  Contact us today at 502-717-5433, or by email at drdave@lifetrainingcounseling.org