Walking with Teens Through Many Seasons (Part 2)
“Be aware of what season you are in and give yourself the grace to be there.”
KRISTEN DALTON
We all walk through seasons in life. These seasons can bring joy, pain, and growth, and exist throughout all ages. In this blog we will continue walking through Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 to look at seasons of life that teens experience.
“A time to mourn and a time to dance”
Growing up can be a difficult thing for teens. As they near graduation, there’s excitement for the years of adulthood ahead, but also a grief for the childhood that is ending. It’s important for your teen to have space within their support system to share the complexity of their feelings during this time. Whether it’s a moment of sadness as they mourn how things have been for so long, or they dance for joy in anticipation of the new, give them permission to make time for themselves.
“A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them“
Part of graduating high school is the scattering of friends. Individuals who you have grown up with go onto different paths, different colleges and careers. This changes the nature of friendships after high school. Many teens can become sad and fearful knowing this change is coming, but not knowing what this exactly looks like. Facilitate conversations where your adolescents can share their fears. Encourage gatherings, such as sleepovers, bonfires, church outings, etc., for your teens to have opportunities to make memories that will last.
“A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing”
Adolescence is a unique time in an individual’s life when they are exploring their view of self. For some individuals who are external processors, they need to talk through things with others. These individuals need their parent figures to provide a sounding board for their thoughts as they go through them out loud. Others, though, are internal processors and need alone time to work through their thoughts. These individuals need to be taught how to identify their emotions and process them on their own, and then given the time to do that.
Teens whose parents’ minds work opposite to theirs can sometimes get frustrated with their child. They need to allow their child to tell them when they need to embrace and talk, and when they need to refrain and get some space.
“A time to search and a time to give up”
Teen relationships can be complicated. Many adolescent friendships are navigating different levels of maturity while they are all pursuing growth. Sometimes after a conflict, teens need to step out and pursue reconciliation with their friend. This can require being the first to apologize or forgive in different situations. It’s important for the teen to remember they cannot control those they are friends with. Once they have made the move towards peace on their end, they have to let go of the rest and trust the Lord in the outcome, whether that’s reconciliation or going their separate ways.
“A time to keep and a time to throw away”
Throughout our lives, we pick up memories from our interactions with the people we love. Those memories create the perspective through which we view the world and ourselves. Sometimes, the past we cling to keeps us from stepping into our future self. It’s important to teach teens how to let go of the past to accept the things in their now and later. These “throw away” memories aren’t disappearing, just changing in how they affect your choices. For example, a child’s memory of their friend rejecting them may keep them from making new friends as a teenager. In order to move forward, the teen must “throw away” the implication that all friends will reject them, and instead hold onto the trust that healthy friendships can be created. In doing this, the teen may still have the memory but no longer allows it to hurt them.
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Contact us to schedule an appointment or to learn more about Teen Therapy at Life Training.