Wife loving on her husband and hugging his neck from behind

A Wife Is The Crown Of Her Husband

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.”

proverbs 12:4

Marriage is a lifelong covenant before God and between a man and a woman to live as one flesh. This is to be for them to use their God-given gifts together in life, for their mutual benefit, and for the bearing of children. God’s teaching in the Greek language can be understood as “yoke fellow” in English.. Envision two animals yoked together, side by side, to plow a field. Husband and wife, yoked together in marriage, should always pull together.

A Crown? or Cancer?

What does it mean that she is the “crown” of her husband? Like a crown on a king’s head, her presence in her husband’s live communicates to everyone that they should honor and respect this man. She makes her family rich (Proverbs 31), while she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33), encouraging her children and others to do the same.

The Bible says that a wife who shames her husband is a runaround (Proverbs 2:16-17), a busybody (I Timothy 5:13), or a harridan (Proverbs 25:24). Scripture also describes a shaming wife like cancer in his bones, as in tooth decay, where a cavity slowly weakens a tooth until it eventually is ineffective. A wife who shames her man eventually leaves him a hollow shell of what he might have been.

What can we learn?

What should an unmarried man conclude from this proverb? Choose wisely. Sadly, youth often lack wisdom to do this. So where does an excellent wife come from? The wise youth who wishes to marry should pray earnestly for an excellent wife, and she for a godly husband.

“House and wife are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD”

proverbs 19:14

Many marriage vows state that we are committed to one another “for better or worse, richer or poorer..” If you are married “for better,” thank the Lord. If you are married “for worse,” remember your wedding vows and make the best of it. In 1 Samuel, wise Abigail found herself married to the rich fool Nabal. And in 2 Samuel, David’s soldier Uriah, the warrior of unwavering integrity, got Bathsheba for a wife. As we can see in these two undesirable circumstances, God, for His own purposes, calls some to live with a shaming wife or a useless man. But an excellent wife is a crown to her husband.

Characteristics of a godly wife

In His description of the wife as the crown of her husband, this points to at least twelve characteristics that are paramount in her godly character:

  1. Seeks to be modest in her dress
  2. Seeks to be holy in her conduct
  3. Seeks to be truthful in her speech and motives
  4. Seeks to be gentle and peaceful
  5. Seeks to care for her home
  6. Seeks to serve others
  7. Seeks to be a woman who can be trusted
  8. Seeks to be prudent in financial matters
  9. Seeks to be a hard worker
  10. Seeks to do the right thing and have a good reputation
  11. Seeks to internalize Biblical wisdom
  12. Seeks to live out the secrets of womanhood


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