A Wife Seeks Godliness In All Her Ways
Marriage is worth the effort and time it takes to understand what God wants in your relationship with your husband. Since the only person you can change is yourself, choose to focus on your part — becoming a godly wife.
This article is written with the hope of reaching woman from every type of marriage, both newleyweds and seasoned sojourners.
- The woman who strives to love her husband because she desires to honor God with her life.
- The woman who wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, but knows she wants to make a difference in her marriage.
- The woman who faces “iron sharpening iron” moments in her marriage.
- The woman who recognizes that she can’t do this life without the power of God at work within her.
Please note, this article is not for the woman who may be experiencing verbal, mental, or physical abuse. A woman’s godliness or lack thereof is in no way related to the abuse. An abusive spouse has something broken within themselves, and needs professional Christian counseling and accountability.
A godly wife seeks to honor God with her words and actions
One of the writers of Psalms writes in Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” If we can remember that what we say and how we respond is for God’s glory, we learn to temper our impatient responses in situations that come up in marriage. When we pursue godliness as a means of growing as a discicple, we allow God to have his way in our lives and in our marriage. By honoring God first, honoring others, including our husband, will follow.
A godly wife loves her husband
Love is certainly a feeling, but more importantly it’s a decision that leads to action. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13, Paul gives us a list of what love is. It is patient, kind, affirming, thinks of others first, and rejoices. In the world outside our homes there are people and situations that wound us and wear us down. But if we can let our husband know we have his back, our homes become a refuge — a safe haven. That doesn’t mean that we don’t address the hard things between husband and wife, but it’s motivated by love and mutual respect and honor.
Both husband and wife are to fulfill Paul’s statement in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This indicates that submission is mutual and means that it yields one’s needs in favor of the other’s. As we read further, husbands and wives express it differently. Husbands express submission to their wives through honoring, prioritizing, and leading them. Wives express submission to their husbands through trusting, respecting, and following their lead. Each one needs the Lord’s strength and power to submit to one another.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others”
philippians 2:3-4
A godly wife learns to trust God
One of the by-products of man’s fall in the Garden of Eden are the conflicts (curses) that arise between husbands and wives. Wives want to be in control and use their words and tone of voice as a weapon. Women can be sharp-tongued and use their words to discourage our husband from being the man of God he was created to be. But when wives allow God to soften and transform you from the inside out, your hearts become tender toward your husband, and you see him with God’s eyes instead. A soft heart towards God is one of the greatest strengths of a godly wife (or husband.
Proverbs 31 describes an amazing woman. Not only does this superwoman take care of the externals, but she develops her inner life too. One particular verse stands out to me. Proverbs 31:25: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Imagine the level of trust in God she has if she can face the uncertainty of tomorrow with a smile. We know that this life holds trouble and disappointment. But God calls us to trust Him and learn to be secure in Hiim, no matter what trials your marriage may face.
A godly wife walks in forgiveness
Because women tend to be sensitive to connections in relationships, they can get their feelings hurt by what appears to be careless words or actions by their husbands. A godly wife will never forget how much God forgives them, and extend that same grace to their spouse. Marriage is a uniting of a man and woman, growing together as individuals to create a special kind of oneness that reflects God’s heart to the world. Without forgiveness, offenses grow large and become obstacles to intimacy with God, peace within, and grace for those around you.. Living your life determined to forgive leads the way for God to grow and mature both husband and wife.
What the Bible teaches us
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”
Proverbs 12:4 NIV
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord”
Proverbs 18:22 NIV
“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord”
Proverbs 19:14 NIV
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies”
Proverbs 31:10 NIV
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”
Ephesians 5:33 NIV
“Wives, in the same way be submissive [the function for orderly home] to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence [moral purity that springs from reverence for God] of your lives”
1 Peter 3:1 NIV
I’m not an expert in this area
When writing the companion article to this on, examining characteristics of a godly man came natural to me. But writing a similar article on what makes a godly woman, I had to lean on many who have much more wisdom and expertise than I do as a man. I appreciate the perspectives of each of these.