Two men really good friends

Dude Skill #4: GROW – Part 4


Continued from my June 12, 2023 posting

One of the best things a man can do is get new mirrors. You may have to break up some of your cliques to do so. but you may enhance your community when you do. It is easy to say, “Get new friends!” But what kind of guys should you seek? There at least three types of friends that every man should have in his life: Fun Brothers, Business Brothers, and Soul Brothers,

Business Brothers

The truth is that we spend more time with coworkers that we do with our families, so it is helpful to actually have relationships with them. Finding a few dudes at work to confide in, share ideas with, and go to lunch with is a wise move. Doing this may not be possible for you because of the nature of your work. Maybe you are the sole employee of a start-up or you are in a family business and the relationships are already conflicted without trying to bring friendship into it. If you are in one of those situations, you need to go outside your business to find some brothers. Surely, others are doing something similar to what you are doing or are in a role that is similar to yours.

Two men really good friends

Soul Brothers

This is a fancy way of saying that you need real friends. It is easy to find guys who will tell us the truth but aren’t willing to support us as we live the truth. It is also easy to find guys who will support us emotionally but aren’t wiling to honestly confront us about weaknesses. A soul brother does both truth (telling us the reality about ourselves and our situation) and love (being willing to walk with us into reality). The Bible encourages us to embrace the truth.

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.”

Proverbs 27:5-6

Recently someone I work with wounded me. He talked about how he thought I was working outside my gifting and suggested that I stop trying to lead a certain part of our organization and focus on the areas I was best suited to lead. This challenge (from a subordinate!) required me to make major adjustments. My coworker was firm and gentle and challenged me to stop hurting our mission and listen to his suggestion. That, my friends, is a friend!

Friends know your hopes, dreams, and fears. They don’t stay on the surface; they go deep. And they are committed to helping you conquer your fears, live out your dreams, and grow in your character.

True friends know you and want to be known by you. They celebrate you and are wiling to be celebrated by. you. They challenge you and seek to be challenged by you. And they serve you and are willing to be served by you.


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