9322 Taylorsville Rd STE 2A | Louisville, KY 40299 | (502) 717-5433 CONTACT US
9322 Taylorsville Rd STE 2A | Louisville, KY 40299 | (502) 717-5433 CONTACT US
A landmark article by the US Department of Veterans Affairs National Center for PTSD explains how the emotional trauma World War II imposed on American men profoundly changed how they functioned as men, husbands, fathers, and citizens. PTSD can make somebody hard to be with. Living with someone who is easily startled, has nightmares, and…
Overcompensating is the only way we know how to effectively re-enter life – by creating a façade of what we believe to be acceptable, in hopes of safeguarding our inner brokenness. In constructing the façade, however, the shame messages within us cause us to go overboard, thinking we can will ourselves to be whole –…
Shame has a deceptive way of convincing us that we need to hide ourselves from the outside world – at all cost – much like the way Adam and Eve hid themselves from God. We go to great lengths to protect our secrets. At its worst, shame will lead us to sacrifice good things in…
The Five Freedoms Renowned author and therapist Virginia Satir speaks of the five freedoms that accrue when we are loved unconditionally. Shaming occurs when any or all of these are overlooked or under-validated within a family relationship system. The freedom to perceive. If a child’s God-given need to perceive is not affirmed, he or she…
Secrecy Shame has a deceptive way of convincing us that we need to hide ourselves from the outside world – at all cost – much like the way Adam and Eve hid themselves from God. We go to great lengths to protect our secrets. At its worst, shame will lead us to sacrifice good things…
Common sense might say that if we just do the opposite of the shaming we witnessed in childhood it will produce a healthy life, marriage, children, and family. The flaw in this reasoning is that, without of a person’s heart being regenerated through Christ, the opposite of shame-based is not self-worth, but rather pretentiousness and…
Our Shame-Based Identity For several years, I pored over countless books, studies, and teaching videos, to glean nuggets of wisdom that would help me be a more effective husband, father, and citizen. I met weekly with a small group of like-minded men who were committed to deep, honest vulnerability and accountability. Although I sat under…
“First Generation” Codependence The concept of codependence in America first came on the scene following World War II. Amidst the post-war backdrop of victory, celebration, and abundance, many American families were experiencing something quite different in the privacy of their homes. An exorbitant number of men returned home from the warfront emotionally traumatized, angry, and…
Most of us have asked God in a thousand ways, “What is your will for my life?” Bottom line: God cares more about who you are than He does about what you’re doing or where you’re going. But you may be asking yourself, What about all the good things I’ve done in my life? What…
Practical Priorities We may have lived much of our lives feeling drained by the pressures and expectations placed upon us. So much of our focus was spent on doing things that we weren’t even intended or supposed to do. We took on everyone else’s priorities and needs, often at the neglect of our own. As…