Cancelling A Debt – Part 3

Layers of Forgiveness

True forgiveness occurs at three levels of our being that were affected by the hurt imposed by another human being:  Mind, Will, and Emotions.

• MIND:  “I choose to discipline my mind to no longer hold unforgiveness, resentment, or contempt agains the one who hurt me.”
• WILL:  “I choose to discipline my will to no longer justify my actions or decision that I might feel entitled to.”
• EMOTIONS:  “I choose to discipline my heart to no longer harbor the negative emotions related to this situation and person.”

My Mind

When we make the decision to forgive someone from our mind, we’ve cognitively submitted to the understanding of our ned to forgive others for the wrongs or hurts they cause us.  Consider this in the context of your relationship with Jesus.  Is a cognitive, intellectual understanding enough to create a relationship with Him.  I would suggest it is not.  It must. be deeper, more meaningful, and more committed than that.

My Will

To make the decision of our will to forgive another human being for the wrong or hurt they caused in our life is critical to the process of forgiveness.  Nonetheless, it is not sufficient to fully cancel the debt we believe the perpetrator owes us.  This is the point where we’ll sometimes say things like “I can forgive, but I can’t forget.”  In other words, what the person is saying I can understand why I should forgive someone, and I can commit my will be no longer act out on my unforgiveness through my attitudes, words, or actions.  But, I’ll never forget what they did to me.  That will always be in the back of my mind.

When we approach forgiveness from this perspective, it’s as if we are saying we will cancel a financial debt, but we’ll never truly trust or forgive them, not will we be able to express Jesus’ unconditional love and mercy toward them.

My Emotions

Making the decision in our heart forgive someone requires that we choose to “no longer remember” the infraction they caused us.  To forget is a lapse of memory.  To no longer remember is an choice that can only come from a heart regenerated by the love and mercy of Christ.

Author Robert McGee in his book The Search for Significance states:  “The ability to extend grace and mercy to another person is in direct proportion to our deep understanding of our need for the same.”  If I believe that I’m inherently good, then I’ll be repulsed and resentful toward anyone who doesn’t measure up to my standard.  Obviously this puts us in the place that only God has the right to occupy.

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