Common Characteristics Of Narcissists

In my previous article I asserted that many “mental disorders” — most notably narcissism — are merely a predictable outcome of the life of an individual who has been raised and cultured in environments replete of the structures God put in place from the beginning, that bring health and balance to the human “heart.” This includes the home, community, and society as a whole.

According to Cory Newman, PhD, a professor of psychology at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania who has written on narcissistic personality disorder, says: “A narcissist, by definition, is someone with a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy,” Notwithstanding, Dr. Newman further points out that the disorder is also one that emerges in early adulthood. I might add, that it not only emerges in early childhood, but is developed during that period.

Inherited? Learned? or an Adaptation to Unmet Needs

There are trademarks of a person considered to be a narcissist that might be clearly identified. In no way do I debate that these manifestations occur. Where I differ is in why they occur.

Secular science claims it is due a combination of genetics, psychological factors, and environmental influences. I feel strongly that when the inborn, God-given needs of an individual’s soul are under-fulfilled during early childhood development, their ability to self-govern their natural tendencies and impulses is poor, if not entirely absent.

Narcissistic characteristics are an adaptation to the culture within family and surrounding sub-communities where self-control, self-discipline, and self-denial are not modeled, taught, or expected. The result? A wild stallion without the benefit of a caring, skilled trainer(s) to harness and bridle all of their natural energy toward meaningful purposes.

Common Narcissistic Characteristics

Grandiose sense of self-importance

Overestimating their capabilities or holding themselves to unreasonably high standards.
Bragging or exaggerating their achievements.
Faking humility to hide their feelings or protect their sense of self-importance.

Frequent fantasies or preoccupation about having or deserving

Success.
Power.
Intelligence.
Beauty.
Love.
Self-fulfillment.

Belief in superiority

Thinking they’re special or unique.
Believing they should associate only with those they see as worthy, important,, or special.

Need for admiration

Fragile self-esteem.
Frequent self-doubt, self-criticism or emptiness.
Preoccupation with knowing what others think of them.
Fishing for compliments.
Avoiding situations where failure is possible or likely, which can limit achievements.

Sense of entitlement

Inflated sense of self-worth.
Expecting favorable treatment (to an unreasonable degree).
Anger when people don’t cater to or appease them.

Willingness to exploit others for their own gain

Consciously or unconsciously using others.
Forming friendships or relationships with people who boost their self-esteem or status.
Deliberately taking advantage of others for selfish reasons.

Lack of empathy

Saying things that might hurt others.
Seeing the feelings, needs or desires of others as a sign of weakness.
Not returning kindness or interest that others show.

Frequent envy

Feeling envious of others, especially when others are successful.
Expecting envy from others.
Belittling or diminishing the achievements of others.

Arrogance

Patronizing behavior.
Behaving in a way that’s snobby or disdainful.
Talking down or acting condescendingly.

Fear of vulnerability

Fear of or avoiding vulnerability.
Withdrawing from others to hide feeling vulnerable.

Compulsive need to be seen as competent

Perfectionism (with or without a fear of failure).
Hypersensitivity to criticism, rejection or failure.
Experiencing severe depression related to rejection or failure.
Reacting with anger (or even rage) when they feel criticized or rejected.

Christian counseling helps you identity your unmet needs

Narcissistic traits are an adaption to unmet needs. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ and His word brings help, hope, and healing to even the wounds and brokenness of narcissism.

In my next article I will be working through the above list to examine the unmet needs that lead to these characteristics.