Anger

Anger is a defensive emotion that arises when we feel our boundaries and sense of rights have somehow been violated.  Anger tends to arise when we are desperate to:

• Hold on to what we have.
• Validate who we are.
• Protect what we feel entitled to.
• Fight back when our sense of self-worth is threatened.
• Control when our basic needs are not adequately met.
• Defend when our beliefs are under attack.

Often A Response

Anger is often a response to the following types of negative life circumstances:

• We feel ignored.
• We feel worthless.
• We feel powerless.
• We feel our safety is being threatened.
• We feel that our basic needs won’t be met.
• We feel unloved.
• We feel rejected.
• We feel unappreciated.
• We feel violated.
• We feel disrespected for our moral beliefs.
• We feel we aren’t being taken seriously.
• We feel we are being ridiculed or criticized.
• We feel abandoned.
• We feel used.

Is It Okay for A Christian to Be Angry?

When anger is managed properly, it doesn’t create a problem.  God’s word says, “And don’t sin by letting anger control you.  Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27 NIV).

When we feel angry, it is comforting to know that God also displayed this emotion.  God clearly was angry at evil.  He hated it, and we are allowed to hate it too.  But we are not allowed to be angry with people to the point where our hearts are filled with bitterness and resentment.  The clear distinction between righteous anger and the type of anger that leads to many levels of sinful behavior is the ability to separate what a person had done from who a person is.  Since most of us have difficulty doing this, at least initially, unrighteous anger tends to take over.

Using anger to defend and protect ourselves is unhealthy.  It can become a wrong method of coping with our pain and is connected to the need to dominate or control others, or to not be dominated or controlled by others.  Anger can literally cause our heart to harden and assume a combative or defensive position.

Destructive anger must be removed if there is any hope of life change.  While anger can sound ugly, just like anything else we have learned about in this journey, anger has a purpose, an explanation, and a solution.  Anger is usually connected with many other emotions.  Often, we have to find the raw emotion that tends to trigger the anger.

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