Where Men Drop The Ball

A few days ago I blogged about my greatest disappointment in men. In today’s article, I want to continue to share about my frustrations categorically with men. But this time, not from the vantage point of what they do that is hurtful to others. I’ll be describing where men drop the ball in marriage, parenting, home, and community. And our society is in a tailspin as a result.

Fail to lead your wife other than providing financially

In God’s word, He makes it pretty clear that he created man, then created woman from man. And the woman was to be a companion, lover, and helper. Notice the word “helper.” In the KJV, the work helper is translated “help meet.”

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him”.

Genesis 2:18 KJV

My point is, the wife was not created to be the primary leader, doer, and perenter in the family, then the husband chip in and help when he feels like it. No, the man carries the God-given responsibility to lead and guide the family in every way, and his wife is to come alongside him as a supportive, encouraging partner.

There is no greater responsibility in a man’s life than these

Based on the Great Commandment (Mark 12:28-31), there are five elements of “providing” within a marriage, family, church, and community, and the order in which Jesus taught them is significant.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:29-31 NIV

1. Spiritually (heart)
2. Emotionally (soul)
3. Developmentally (mind)
4. Physically (strength)
5. Relationally (your and your neighbor)

Unfortunately, many men only care about, focus on, and are equipped in are the physical needs of his wife and family — Working hard to earn money to provide for the family’s needs for housing, transportation, food, clothing, and so on. Many men in America believe that, beyond that, everything else is “women’s work.”

Neglect your responsibilities in the development of your children

The way God created us as human beings is with important developmental needs, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The Bible teaches that we are to keep our spirit, soul, and body blameless through life. And this begins with them being nurtured through childhood.

“Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.”

1 Thessalonians 5:23 NLT

Again, from what I described in the section above regarding many men’s singular focus on the physical needs of life, the same perspective makes it virtually impossible to participate in the emotional and spiritual development of their children. Without this, children will very likely become adults without emotional and spiritual substance or healthy convictions.

In my next article …

My next article will be a continuation on this theme of how men drop the ball. I’ll focus on two additional ways I believe my statement to be true:

1. Refuse to participate in the emotional and spiritual needs of your family
2. Bring no redeeming value to the community in which you live

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