Identity Dependence

Identity Dependent:  The New Twenty-First Century Codependent While codependent relationships may seem complicated, the root cause – as well as the reason behind its evolution – is actually simpler than one might think.  Put simply, codependency is when a person’s self-worth is dependent on something external to themselves that is not emotionally healthy or beneficial, […]

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Classic Patterns Of Codependence

The “classic” codependency model has been well described by the organization Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc., and is referred to as “Recovery Patterns of Codependence.”  This organization has done an outstanding job of not only providing the important characteristics of codependency but organizing them into typical clusters in which they are most often observed. Denial Patterns Codependents […]

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The Origin Of Codependence

“First Generation” Codependence The concept of codependence in America first came on the scene following World War II.  Amidst the post-war backdrop of victory, celebration, and abundance, many American families were experiencing something quite different in the privacy of their homes. An exorbitant number of men returned home from the warfront emotionally traumatized, angry, and […]

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21st Century Codependence

Trustworthy Definitions Here is Stephanie Tucker’s basic explanation of codependence extracted from her workbook: Historically, the term codependency or codependence was used to refer to the significant other of an active alcoholic.  That’s because it became apparent that just as the alcoholic suffered from distinct symptoms, the dependent family members also shared in a unique […]

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New Wine Requires New Wineskins

“The closer you get to God, the better you’re going to understand yourself.” Pastor Rick Warren  Our Identity Is Always Found in Someone (Or Something) The term “codependence” is a word that people tend to hear fairly often yet may not fully understand its meaning.  What is it?  Where does it come from?  Do I […]

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Where Is My Residency?

To Some, Surrender Sounds a Lot Like Losing The Bible suggests that there is one primary step needed for us to die to our flesh – surrender.  Literally one small step that feels like a giant leap.  To some of us who are reading this, the word surrender is somehow linked to losing.  And for […]

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It’s About Being, Not Doing

Most of us have asked God in a thousand ways, “What is your will for my life?”  Bottom line:  God cares more about who you are than He does about what you’re doing or where you’re going.  But you may be asking yourself, What about all the good things I’ve done in my life?  What […]

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Jesus’ Unlikely Choice

As He often did, Jesus taught an important spiritual lesson through a very practical example.  It is entitled “The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.” “To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee […]

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God’s Ways Are Not Our Ways

Spirit and Soul Must Intersect What I had been feeling all those years was that my spirit person and my soul person were running parallel.  I knew many of the relevant truths and principles of the Bible.  But what I came to learn about God and Jesus and grace and forgiveness and hope would just […]

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Hiding My Shame Behind A Mask

I Thought I Was a Christian I can’t even begin to tell you the number of counseling clients I’ve met over the past decade or so who have sincerely said to me something like this: “I’ve always thought I was a Christian.  But, if I really am, why do I still struggle with so much […]

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