The 5 Life Languages ® | Interpersonal Needs
THE 5 LIFE LANGUAGES TITLE IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK .
ALL CONTENT UNDER THIS TITLE IS COPYRIGHT PROTECTED
BY AUTHOR DAVID RALSTON, PHD.
Understanding Human Nature
It’s important to have an understanding of the three most driving interpersonal needs of every human being: to BELONG, to BE POWERFUL, and to BE KNOWN. People have sought to better understand human nature for centuries, even millennia. Research has found writings from the ancient scholar and physician Hippocrates that illustrate his rudimentary understanding of the variations in human nature. Although primitive by today’s standards, the foundational concepts he discovered have not really changed significantly since he first wrote of them.
Interpersonal behavior refers to the relations between people and involves two or more persons. The three basic interpersonal needs have been described by literally hundreds of authors, teachers, scientists, and researchers, as well as pastors, ministers, and counselors throughout modern history. Despite many differences, most have agreed that human beings all have the same three primary interpersonal needs.
These have been described by various names, each referring to largely the same three interpersonal characteristics. The most familiar nomenclature has been words like inclusion, control, and affection, or significance, competence, and lovability to name a few. The first of these interpersonal needs refers to people’s need to be recognized as participants in human interaction, a baseline condition for healthy human existence. The second is people’s desires to make a difference in their relationship environments and to have some say over what happens. Finally, people’s third need is a sense of interpersonal warmth or of being liked or loved through friendship and other intimate relations.
A New Language For The 21st Century
The 5 Life Languages concepts are built on the above foundations, yet described with new, contemporary terminology to make them more intuitive for people of all ages and demographics.
To BELONG
An individual’s need to associate with others through being included, invited, and accepted. This need relates to forming new relationships and associating with others.
To BE POWERFUL
An individual’s need to assumes responsibility, makes decisions, and have influence involving people and processes. It relates to power, authority, and persuasion that can exist over another person, and establishes the person’s place in community.
To BE KNOWN
An individual’s need for affection, approval, and intimacy through friendships and deep relationships. This refers to an intimate dyadic relationship and the degree to which a person is willing to become emotionally involved with another person. This often includes emotional ties and warm connections between people, as well as sensitivity, openness, and vulnerability.
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