Acting Out Always Brings More Shame
Shame that is a product of our acting out is somewhat different than shame that was the precursor to our acting out, although both weeds share the same roots. And shame is often at the core of our struggles with anxiety, depression, and relational issues. As we looked at in detail already, precursor shame leads…
Acting Out Our Shame
The Bible tells us that each of us is made by God as a composite of three distinct components: “Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ comes again.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23 NLT) In…
Perpetuating Our Own Shame
I wish I had come up with this quote: “The definition of insanity is doing the very same thing over and over and expecting a different result.” Why do we do that? What is it within us humans that takes us back to the same painful choices again and again? In the year 700 BC,…
Does Toxic Shame Have An Opposite?
Common sense might say that if we just do the opposite of the shaming we witnessed in childhood it will produce a healthy life, marriage, children, and family. The flaw in this reasoning is that, without of a person’s heart being regenerated through Christ, the opposite of shame-based is not self-worth, but rather pretentiousness (covering…
Shaming Is Often Very Overt
I’ve devoted much of my recent writing to helping you understand the more subtle – even “unintentional” – ways that shaming occurs. I would be remiss, though, to not commit space in my writings to address the more obvious forms of shaming. I wrote my blogs for the person who has been overtly shamed through…
Wounded By Perfection
Early in my counseling career I had the opportunity to work with a young woman in her late 20’s. She sought counseling due to feelings of depression, low self-esteem, and the belief that she was inadequate as a woman, wife, and mother. She felt like giving up on all of it. In discovering more about…