Dude Skill #5: PROVIDE – Part 6
#30 IN MY SERIES OF POSTINGS DEDICATED TO SUMMARIZING A WONDERFUL BOOK ENTITLED “THE DUDE’S GUIDE TO MARRIAGE: TEN SKILLS EVERY HUSBAND MUST DEVELOP TO LOVE HIS WIFE WELL” BY DARRIN & AMIE PATRICK.
Why Don’t Men Embrace The Role Of Provider
What we see in the Garden of Eden is that Adam and Eve chose to be consumers rather than cultivators. The commission he received from God — to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth — meant they needed to fix their eyes on the uncultivated land beyond Eden. they needed to trust God’s goodness and plan. The temptation from Satan took the form of an invitation to consume rather than cultivate. And so they turned their gaze inward — to the. tree in the midst of the garden — the very one God had forbidden to them. God had given them the freedom to eat of every tree of the perfect garden, and they chose that one because they could.
If both Adam and Even disobeyed God — and Eve started it — why am I pressing on the husbands here? And what’s this got to do with a man’s workplace?
First, the Bible is clear that even though Eve was responsible for taking the fruit (sinning first), Adam was held accountable as the head of the marriage. He was supposed to protect and guide his wife, but he failed to do either one.
Second, the creation account seems to suggest that although both Adam and Eve were called to cultivate God’s creation, they were given distinctive roles in the process. Eve’s name means “mother of all living” (Genesis 3:20). Like Eve, wives have a unique call to carry babies in their bodies and feed babies from their bodies. Like Adam, husbands seem to have an intrinsic and unique call to lead in providing financially for their families.
We see this in the way that consequences fell uniquely upon the woman and the man. The Bible calls these “curses” (Genesis 3:16-19).
The curse on the woman is related not just to the pain in childbirth. Many theologians think this idea of pain in childbirth is a metaphor that women tend to be more homeward in their orientation than their husbands. There are exceptions, but social science seems to confirm what the ancient wisdom of the Bible explains: the woman’s curse is found in the thing in which she has unique gifts to be a leader.
The curse on the husband is related to the work of his hands. This seems to foreshadow Murphy’s Law. Although we might think the whole sweat thing is about hard manual labor, it’s likely an ancient Near Eastern idiom referring to “anxiety.” and “perspiration-inducing fear.” The curse is not work itself, but the limitation of resources and an insecure future in a world that no longer responds to our commands. The implication of this curse is that the ground’s rebellion against man serves as a reminder of man’s rebellion against his Creator. The curse of sin comes on God’s unique calling for a husband.
“A man’s temptation is either to hate his job or love it too much — to demonize or idolize it. He either begrudges the work and ignores it, or allows it to become his master. But a truly free man knows the limits of his work. He is not free from work, but free to work well. His work serves him and brings out the best in him, rather than destroying him or ruining his family.
From The Dude’s Guide to Manhood
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