The Language That Says “You’re Enough”
How Do I Identify This Person
Common Needs
| Need To Belong | Need To Be Powerful | Need To Be Known |
|---|---|---|
| Needs to appear competent and in control; needs to be respected; needs quiet time alone to regenerate; needs limited interaction with people; needs to not be controlled or manipulated; needs freedom from required socialization; needs freedom to think creatively; needs to function in an orderly, stable environment; needs to fulfill their desire for knowledge; needs financial and economic security. | Needs to appear competent and in control; needs to be respected; needs quiet time alone to regenerate; needs freedom to be creative; needs to not be controlled or manipulated; needs truth, order, reliability, and dependability from others, or they will feel they have been lied to; needs freedom to create and work independently; needs to work with tasks and systems; needs to be respected by other people, especially for their abilities. | Needs to appear competent and in control; needs to be respected, needs to be accepted and approved of for who they are; needs to not be controlled or manipulated; needs truth, order, reliability, and dependability from others, or they will feel they have been lied to; needs to be free from romantic demands; needs a relationship built on authenticity more than on emotion. |
Common Strengths
| Need To Belong | Need To Be Powerful | Need To Be Known |
|---|---|---|
| Is extremely creative and artistic; highly productive; genius- prone; constantly seeking information; seeks excellence; persistent; self- sacrificing; friendly and personable; aware of how much they are loved by the people closest to them; moderately outgoing; see both the steps and pitfalls of a situation; visionary; loner; relationally cautious; homebody; strong- minded; methodical; perfectionistic; relentless thinker; vivid, detailed mind | Is capable of wonderful things; makes very good decisions; highly responsible within areas of competence; highly productive; seeks excellence; adheres to rules; exerts very little control over the lives of others; relentlessly motivated; sees both the steps and pitfalls of a situation; visionary; strong- willed; task oriented; works at slow, steady pace; very good leadership capabilities, especially when on their terms; highly independent; tolerate very little interference in their life; interferes very little with other people’s lives | Is very faithful and loyal friend or partner; self-sacrificing for deep relationships; deep, tender feelings, but rarely reveals them; can easily empathize with others; able to make very deep commitments; shows very little emotional affection; needs very little affection shown to them; approaches very few people for deep relationships; deep personal relationships they do establish are very few; low self-esteem; feels unworthy of love; distrustful and suspicious; easily hurt |
Common Weaknesses
| Need To Belong | Need To Be Powerful | Need To Be Known |
|---|---|---|
| Focuses on their imperfections; searches environment for messages to confirm their low self-esteem; sets unrealistic standards for themselves; fears rejection; has self- doubts; has mind that won’t shut off; fears being wrong; pre- rejects others; projects façade of being competent and in control; seldom tells others their intentions; dwells on past hurts and failures; is easily insulted and hurt; can’t admit when wrong or incorrect, making a mistake, being discovered to be inadequate, or making a fool of themselves; keeps emotional score card; throws past rejection back at others; justifies their anger; is hyper-sensitive; holds grudges; takes vengeance; unhealthy fantasies; angry; alcoholism; depression; stress; fear; drug addiction; sexual addiction; insomnia; suicide. | Focuses on their imperfections; searches environment for messages to confirm their low self-esteem; pre-rejects others; projects façade of being competent and in control; seldom tells others their intentions; dwells on past criticism and rejection; sensitive to criticism or correction; can’t admit when wrong or incorrect, making a mistake, being discovered to be inadequate, or being seen as incompetent; procrastinates; rebellion; difficulty submitting to authority; projects façade of competence to hide real or imagined inadequacies; only submits to authority perceived as more competent; fears being wrong; rigid; inflexible; fears failure; fears the unknown; rebellious; angry; stress; | Focuses on their imperfections; searches environment for messages to confirm they are unlovable; vengeful if hurt or betrayed by a deep personal relationship; emotionally unavailable; unable to be emotionally vulnerable; demands to receive more love than they give; lonely; self-destructive; dissect the past; critical of others; angry; cruel; emotional; low self-image; hyper- sensitive to rejection; devastated by the loss of one of their few deep relationships; grieving seems to have no end; sexually oriented but not romantically inclined |
Common Responses To Unmet Needs
| Need To Belong | Need To Be Powerful | Need To Be Known |
|---|---|---|
| Dark thinking; depression; drug use, abuse, and addiction; truancy; self-harm | Perfectionism; rebelliousness; altercations with others; quitting; retaliation; vengeance | Criticism of others; becomes idealistic and controlling |
Let Us Help You Learn A Powerful New Language
If you would like to know more about Christian temperament counseling, please call 502 717 5433 to learn more about us and our unique approach. We enjoy the personal contact of talking to prospective clients and answering questions you may have. So, please, feel free to contact us to see how we can help you begin to move forward on the journey to discovering your true identity.