Man on couch playing video game in dark room

Dude Skill #5: PROVIDE – Part 2


Why Men Struggle With Work

Men Have Not Been Taught To Work

Continued from my article posted on June 24, 2023

Some men had good dads, but their dads hated their jobs. A friend of mine had a dad like that. His dad always coached his sports teams. He always included him in home projects, patiently teaching his son how to keep a house together. One summer they even rebuilt an engine on an old Ford truck that both of them picked out in a junkyard. My friend’s dad loved him being with him, but his dad had nothing good to say about his job. Most of the time when he and my friend were riding in the car or working around the house, his dad complained about his job. The only thing he criticized more than his working conditions was his supervisor. The not-so-subtle message that was communicated to his son was, “All a job is good for is paying the bills.” My friend confided in me one day about his dad’s influence on his work philosophy. It led my buddy to bounce around from job to job, switching career paths multiple times.

Men Choose To Be Under-challenged

I am typing this section from a cafe. I love coming here because the coffee is really good, the food is even better, and environment is creative. For years I have done my work here, and have always ended up talking to interesting people.

Man on couch playing video game in dark room

Today I had a conversation with one of the regulars. He is in his forties and lives near the cafe. He is well versed in current and affairs and seems to be intelligent. In getting to know him I have found that he has had a string of jobs. He has managed a bar and grill, taught piano lessons, and walked dogs for wealthy people. There is nothing wrong with with managing and teaching. There is also nothing wrong with walking dogs, unless the dogs all weigh less than ten pounds. There is something wrong with my friend not maximizing his God-given potential. He has a brilliant mind but lazy hands. His heart is content with living beneath his masculinity. He has quieted his internal hard-wiring to attain work that is commensurate with his talents. He is coasting, and it’s no surprise that he remains single.

In one of our many conversations he revealed that he refuses to be stressed. He wants a life he can manage, a life that is under his control.He doesn’t want to work for anyone, and he doesn’t really want to risk starting a business. He refuses any challenges, and he likes it that way.


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