Raising Strong-Willed Teens
By guest author
KAYLA WRIGHT
Licensed Christian Counselor
Specialist in Christian Counseling for Teens
Life Training Christian Counseling
Patience and Understanding
When providing counseling for teens, you encounter many different situations and personalities. All come with their unique challenges. Part of my work as a teen counselor is helping parents in effectively loving their kids, even their strong-willed teen. When your child has a strong-willed temperament, they require from you a certain set of patience, humility, and understanding. This will help them feel safe and thrive in their environment.
Humility and Authenticity
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2 NIV
Humility and authenticity are important when raising or working with strong-willed teens. They need to trust you to listen to you. If you are unable to admit your faults or imperfections to them, they will disregard any form of direction given. Approaching them in humility shows them you are giving instruction from a genuine place and encourages mutual respect. It is important to not confuse humility with emotionally oversharing. I don’t expect my child to feel responsible for my growth. I do want them to know that I’m aware of my need to grow and to acknowledge when I fail.
Listening Builds Trust
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
James 1:19 NIV
Listening to your strong-willed teen is important because they stubbornly want to participate actively in their lives. It is important for them to recognize those who are in authority. As you listen and discuss their options with them, they will be more likely to follow your direction. Providing information, explaining why a decision is best, and allowing them to ask questions helps them understand a task they have been given. It equips them to make better decisions in their future.
Strong-Willed Teens Need Encouragement
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
Intentionally speak encouraging words to your strong-willed teens. These individuals have the potential to blaze trails in the world, but they are still susceptible to parental wounds. In my years as a Christian counselor for teens, I have seen the most strong-willed teens be terrified to make decisions due to the discouraging words of their parents. Choosing to uplift your child and praise their strengths, while also teaching them how to walk in integrity and accountability, will equip them to walk in confidence with the mind the Lord created them with.
Discipline Must Be Consistent
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
Hebrews 12:11 NIV
When disciplining your strong-willed child, it is important to be consistent. Threatening punishment with no follow-through produces a lack of respect and trust in these young adults. However, if you establish the importance of a rule and consistently back it up with consequences, you allow your teens to recognize you truly value what you are saying. This provides stability, which strengthens trust and yields respect on all sides.
Pray With and For Your Strong-Willed Teen
“But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”
Luke 22:32 NIV
Possibly the most important part of loving your strong-willed teen is to pray with them and for them. These strong-willed individuals often have to learn through experience which are the right choices to make. In this conversation with Peter, Jesus both acknowledges that Peter is going to fall away and encourages Peter in his ability to uplift others. Your kids are going to make mistakes, and may even stubbornly try to make their own way outside of Jesus. Take the time to sit and pray for them so that when the Spirit of God moves in their heart, they will listen.
Christian Counseling for Strong-Willed Teens
Kayla Wright joined the counseling team at Life Training Christian Counseling in Louisville, Kentucky in May of this year. The passion of her counseling work is to make a meaningful difference in the lives of Teens and pre-teens.
Kayla is nationally licensed as a Christian Counselor by the National Christian Counselors Association. She possesses an advanced board certification in Child & Adolescent Therapy. Kayla gained extensive experience and credibility in providing counseling to teens and pre-teens during her tenure on the staff of Revive Christian Counseling in Owensboro and Madisonville, Kentucky. She is highly skilled in teenage substance abuse counseling and teenage depression counseling.
Kayla Wright, as well as each of our other counselors, offers convenient sessions at Life Training Christian Counseling in Louisville, Kentucky, as well as online counseling via Zoom or FaceTime. Please click on this link to learn much more about how our Counseling for teens and pre-teens in Louisville, Kentucky can help the child you love find the highly-effective, Christ-centered help they need. Contact us today at 502-717-5433, or by email at kayla@lifetrainingcounseling.org